Saturday, September 27, 2008

Penn State Nittany Lion

Penn State University

Mascot: The Nittany Lion

Resembles: A teddy bear with fangs

Known for: Crowd surfing, break dancing, golfing and being the Big Ten’s cheapest looking costume of all times

Seriously – how the hell did Penn State translate this ferocious beast, to look like this silly giant teddy bear? Oh – but they added four “fangs” to make him look scary. Are other teams supposed to be intimidated by this thing? It looks like one of those jerky, mechanical animals from the Chuck-E-Cheese band.






The Nittany Lion was first developed at a baseball game against Princeton in 1904. (The same year Joe Pa started coaching.) Harrison “Joe” Mason, a member of Penn State’s baseball team, was shown a statue of Princeton’s Bengal tiger mascot before a game against Princeton. Embarrassed that Penn State didn’t have a mascot, Mason instantly fabricated the Nittany Lion, as the "fiercest beast of them all," who could overcome the Princeton tiger.

Over the next few years, Mason's "Nittany Lion" won such widespread support among students, alumni, and fans that there was never any official vote on its adoption. He never even got a name. How about “Ninny” the Nittany Lion? Think about it.


Uh, Mr. Nittany Lion – you might not want to mount your own statue. Nice white tennis shoes – or I guess they’re called “sneakers” on the East Coast, right?


So what the heck is a Nittany Lion? It’s essentially an ordinary mountain lion (also known as a puma, panther or cougar – but not the kind who scour bars for younger men.) This creature roamed central Pennsylvania until the 1880s (when Joe Pa was born). It’s called a “Nittany” lion after nearby Mt. Nittany. Nittany is believed to be a Native American term for “single mountain.”
I find it interesting that the majority of the time, the Nittany Lion is naked, except for a blue and white striped scarf. Why the scarf? Is he cold in Pennsylvania? Well, after a little digging on google images, I discovered the reason for the scarf. And it goes back to this costume being extremely cheap.

In this photo below, the Nittany Lion left his scarf back in his mountain cave - thus exposing the CHEAP-ASS ZIPPER up his front. What the hell? Seriously, Penn State – can you not afford a better costume? At least try.

Cool – the Nittany Lion can golf! But check out the cheap seam on the side of the costume. Give his pelt some extra fur to cover that up, for God’s sake! Just a suggestion. And look at the droopy, stringy tail. Sad.

The Nittany Lion can break dance – without cardboard! That’s pretty cool.

But this is NOT cool. What is going on here? How did this get past the Penn State censors? This photo is seriously disturbing. (But I feel totally fortunate to have found it. Score!) I wonder if he discovered if he’s a girl lion, or a boy lion?


A head band, leg warmers, and some tight man-panties. Where have I seen this before? Oh wait a minute…

Good call on skipping the baby oil, Nittany Lion. That would have seriously tangled your pelt.
Overall rating: 7 out of 10
The Nittany Lion is yet another animal mascot. But, he’s an incredibly ghetto mascot, especially for representing a Big Ten school. There are high school mascots better than this. And that’s why I love him. Go teddy bear with fangs, go! He could have earned extra points, however, if he would learn to be more selective in his growling at home games. Why not save that annoying cougar sound for touchdowns only? Seriously – that noise comes on for gaining two yards. Less is more, Nittany Lion.

































































































































































































































































































































































































































1 comment:

Andrew Solomon said...

did you even go to college? because i'm pretty sure your i.q. is below my gpa. almost all of these are commonwealth lions (not the MAIN campus). the lion is doing push-ups in the picture where he is "breakdancing". seriously? know what you're looking at before you make yourself look like an idiot. thanks