Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Oregon's Donald Duck

University of Oregon

Mascot: Donald Duck (seriously)

Resembles: Donald Duck with a green and yellow sailor suit

Known for: Being a drunken, party-fouling waterfowl

How is a Duck supposed to intimidate opposing teams when he's just so darn cute? I can't stand the cuteness. Yes, Oregon's mascot is Donald Duck - the same Donald Duck from the omniscient Disney Empire (uh cult?). The University of Oregon actually has a contract with Disney to use the cartoon duck's likeness.

So, why a duck? Originally, Oregon was known as "The Webfoot State" - a reference to a band of fisherman who moved to the state from Massachusetts in the 1840s. The university's first atheletic nickname was the "Webfoots". (In 1909, Oregon became "The Beaver State" [insert gratuitus beaver joke here]). Then local sportswriters began to call the Webfoots the "Ducks," and thus the mascot was born.

In the 1920s, the first real duck mascot was, in fact, a real duck named "Puddles." Some fraternity kids brought Puddles to games until the kiljoys at the Humane Society started crying "fowl!" and they had to stop. I wonder what happened to Puddles after he was fired...

*Apologies to Gerber for the Humane Society reference, as well as the portrayal of duck eating.

In 1947, Oregon's first athletic director struck a handshake agreement with the great Walt Disney himself to use Donald Duck as the school's mascot, as long as it was "done in good taste."

Well, I wonder what ol' Walt would think of Oregon's Donald Duck today. Although it's not confirmed, I believe Oregon's Donald has a bit of an issue with the bottle.

Introducing Exhibit A: Engaging in Violence

On September 8, 2007, Oregon's Donald Duck put a beatdown on the University of Houston's Cougar, a move that got him suspended for one game. This was one of the best mascot fights in history.

You gotta check it out - here's the fight on You Tube:

Another fight - Donald Duck follows through on a bitch-slap to the Winthrop University Eagle at the NCAA Tournament:

Exhibit B - Indecent Acts:

Donald Duck exposes his duck parts to - repeat victim - the Houston Cougar:

Flashes to the masses - Donald Duck spreads his nether-feathers to a horrified crowd:

Way over the line - Donald Duck squats down in the end zone and deficates in front of thousands. And he thinks it's funny.

Exhibit C: Public Intoxication

A drunken Donald stumbles over on the basketball court and propositions an Oregon cheerleader. Ever the professional, she ignores Donald's dirty duck talk and focuses on the game.

Donald flips off a group of schoolchildren at a Saturday pep rally. Fortunately, his thick plumage disquises his extended middle finger.

Donald's battle with the sauce has cost him relationships, his job and even his home back at the pond. Below, Donald stumbles out of a trash can, his temporary home for the past week.

Overall Rating: 9.8 out of 10
Regardless of his flaws, Oregon's Donald Duck is one of my personal fav's in the mascot world. The fact that a cute duckie is used to represent fierce athletic teams scores high points. If they want to "up" the fierce factor, they could consider some sharp teeth extending from his beak. He also scores points for the fruity sailor suit, and double points for the fact that he's not wearing pants. Perhaps a 12-step program can help him. Or, we could nominate him for an episode of "Intervention".


Amanda said...

I love Donald! I can't wait for the others!

Dan Gary said...

That's great! Keep it coming. I can't wait to hear about the Golden Ghopher. I've always gotten the he-be-ge-be's from that guy.

Grant said...

My friend Sarah - - a Boilermaker buddy of yours - - referred me you your blog. Genius! Love the Oregon Duck whipping ass on the Houston Cougar video. I am an Oklahoma Sooner & fear the slandererous things you would write about our "mascot" (derisively known as the "HorsePig" by the Okie faithful. If you like college football blogs...hit this one too: